cerhadivision | Isla Sorna

Isla Sorna

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bluebetabitch

When you spend a long time building something with your own two hands, it becomes difficult to wrap your mind around the idea of the work being done. Owen grew up around that kind of mindset, and knows very well how it feels to be in the same grip. But he doesn't mind. That's the thing about having a family: it expands, and the world around it needs to expand with it. Little by little, the house came up around them, and they settled into it, and he's never really stopped working this little world of his over like an ever-evolving project that he loves with his whole heart.

They're settled here. Officially. No one can deny it, and even though Owen still has dreams sometimes about InGen -- or anyone -- hunting them down to rip the girls, or even the boys, out of his hands, those fears evaporate every morning. The girls get along as well as any sisters do, and even the squabbling has died down in recent months; the boys have adapted beautifully, and although Chi and Psi still exhibit behavior that looks odd alongside the girls from time to time, they no longer struggle to meet expectations that were completely alien to them for most of their lives.

And then there's Blue and Omega.

The difference in Blue between her youth on Isla Nublar, and the young womanhood that quite clearly blossomed in the Santa Lucia Mountains of central California, is not only noticeable, but striking. Always the one he could rely on over the others, Blue has managed to develop into a creature that is both an extension of his right arm and yet still a highly independent person who no longer looks to him quite so often for cues; she still values her space and her privacy, but those withdrawals from the pack just to brood and sulk have all but disappeared. And while Blue's temper will always strike fear into the hearts of her siblings -- adopted or otherwise -- she's learned to balance it with patience, a trait that would always thwart her more than any other. Until now. Owen always wanted Blue to learn that balance between animal instinct and human rationality, and he knew she'd get there in her own way sooner or later. Now, it seems she has, and it's a beautiful thing to see.

Then, as if her own transformation wasn't enough, she'd somehow managed to turn her mate into an entirely different person.

If Blue's maturation is impressive, Omega's has been nothing short of miraculous. All right... Owen is a professional behaviorist; he knows there's no such thing as miracles, only hard work and dedication. Only this time it wasn't his. It was Blue's time, effort, and uncharacteristic affection that turned a furious, hateful killing machine into something that could be now what he might have been then, before InGen had their way. Omega lives in the house now. He eats when they do. He joins the family in their gatherings, as long as Blue is with him, and although his temper is still zero to 60 when roused, these days it's much harder to set him off than it used to be, even if that wouldn't be saying much. He prefers his mate and solitude over anything else, but his violently aggressive tendencies have been all but curbed for the sake of keeping Blue happy.

For obvious reasons, Owen has kept a close eye on them both from day one, and even from the very beginning Omega has treated Blue like the center of the universe. Owen himself has salvaged his share of abused, wild animals -- it's literally part of the job -- but he knows without question that no one could have done this but her. And her success is absolutely indisputable.

Case in point: today, Omega's dislike for interacting with unfamiliar people had outweighed his desire to be with Blue as often as possible, and instead of throwing a tantrum he simply hadn't gone with her down the mountain.

For Barry, it was supplies; Echo wanted clothes; Blue was only interested in procuring necessary parts for her nearly-restored 1979 Pontiac Phoenix Firebird, a task built upon very specific requirements and one which she would never entrust to any of her siblings. The day is very nice for a sojourn into the city, considering the length of the drive: blue skies and a mild breeze, not quite so far into spring that the air is anything more than comfortably warm. Psi is helping Delta collect chili peppers and the new experimental plums. Chi fell asleep in the grass up the hill. Charlie is giving Owen a hand with replacing some worn poles along the stone steps leading down to the boys' den, when they hear the familiar sound of the Jeep rolling up the long hill that serves as their driveway.

Only, it sounds like it's coming up fast.

Owen and Charlie look at each other, and immediately drop what they're doing to meet the car just as Barry rolls up, screeching to a stop and diving out of the driver's side to rush around to the passenger door. He looks frantic. And he's helping Echo out of the car. She looks like she's about to pitch right off her feet.

"Owen!" Barry calls out urgently, eyes widening immediately as Owen rushes to them. "Owen!" He has to wrap an arm around Echo's back to keep her standing. And then, to Owen's surprise and dread, Barry yells again. "Omega!"

Owen doesn't actually know where Omega has been this whole time. But suddenly he's there next to him, clearly as alarmed at being summoned as Owen was to hear it, and Owen can practically feel the tension in the male raptor's body triple because they both realized the same thing: that Blue is not with them.

"They took her," Barry says, breathless, and the bottom falls out of Owen's stomach.

Echo tries to rouse herself, flopping a little, mumbling in groggy frustration as she tries to shake off whatever is wrong with her and help explain. But Barry keeps his hold on her and barrels right through it.

"It was InGen. They had an entire strike force, Owen, the streets are chaos now. They used non-lethals. Tranquilizers. Echo took a direct hit, but they left her behind. All of them were focused on Blue." He looks at both of them, Owen and then Omega, panicked and desperate. "They came for her."

The weather was gorgeous a minute ago. Now the entire world is ice. Owen's heart has stopped, his breath is gone. Delta and the boys come running up, but he barely notices them. Beside him is Omega, frozen; then suddenly the raptor whirls to him, eyes wide, and the fury -- the fear -- in them is apocalyptic.

Omega doesn't say a word, but Owen immediately finds his voice. "Go get her."

The male raptor is gone like a bolt of lightning. Owen turns and strides quickly to a hidden cache beneath the porch. He pulls out two assault rifles and a hell of a lot of ammo as Charlie shrieks behind him, "Why aren't we going with him?!"

"Because we're going to follow him." Owen tosses a rifle to Barry, and gestures sharply for everyone to get into the car, including the still-dizzy Echo. "After Isla Nublar, Omega found us in less than a week on nothing but Blue's scent and pure instinct. This time he knows where he's going. We'd only slow him down." The motor is still running. Almost before every door is shut, Owen jerks the Jeep into gear. His last words are almost a growl to himself. "With any luck, all we'll have to do is clean up."

The Jeep screeches in reverse, turns, and roars off down the mountain.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Fuck yeah. Omega ducks beneath the water with a splash just in time to avoid getting blinded by the expertly aimed projectile, only to pop back up a few feet upstream and hurl another glob at her before promptly disappearing again. He may not try and sneak up on her underwater, but if she's planning to even the score, she's gonna have to play whack-a-mole in the river with her raptor mate.

He makes sure he's not accidentally throwing rocks at her, but the handfuls of mud start getting bigger. Needing to throw himself immediately back underwater every time he lobs a handful at her does make it difficult to aim properly; she manages at one point to get him right in the cheek the second he surfaces, but he retaliates with one in her hair. It isn't long before Omega is as bright-eyed and animated as she was.

Blue crowed with glee when she managed to smack him, but celebrated a little too long and ended up with a handful of mud grating into her hair. She screeched, ducking beneath the water to rinse it out, and only popped back up when she didn't spy her bratty mate lurking anywhere nearby with a handful of muck.

She zipped to a new hiding spot, going stealthily still in the flowing water, sinking down until only her nose and eyes were visible in the moonlight. She had a ball of river sand in her hand, just waiting to fling it the moment she spied him.

He knows when she goes down that she's going to move, because that's the right thing to do in a battle like this: you don't just camp in one spot and wait for the enemy to beat you down. So he does the same thing, as they both drop swiftly underwater, hidden from each other by the movement of the river, the dark shadows, the glittering moonlight.

Swimming several yards upstream, he carefully resurfaces, and... shit, he can't tell where she ended up. If he whirls around too quickly it will almost certainly give him away, but. This is life-or-death here, he can't just let her get him--

Oh. There she is: he just glimpses the shine on the black streak of her hair. Omega glances toward the handful of mud in his hand underwater, and then drops it into the current. Then he promptly sinks underwater again, and swims downriver toward her -- maybe he won't grab her by the legs, but he can definitely take them out from under her.

A suspicious ripple out of the corner of her eye alerted Blue; she glanced to the left--nothing. Easing behind the long overhanging root near the bank, she slithered slowly along the high shore, not even breathing as to keep all signs of her presence hidden.

Nothing stirred; even the slight breeze had died. The insects still chirped at the edge of her hearing, the river gurgled on as it had since long before their time. Blue narrowed her eyes. He was hiding somewhere..stalking her...

She abruptly slipped beneath the water, intending to dart across the pool for yet another shadowy hiding place, but the surge of a sudden underwater current had her leaping straight up, throwing molten silver in a splashing arc, and she dove aside with a shrill screech, giving a reflexive kick as she flailed away.

But she came up laughing, the adrenaline which had shot through her easing a little, and Blue fell back on her butt in the shallower water, chortling on the sandy bottom. That had been so fun! Then she called for him, scanning the water and watching for him to emerge.

He just misses her, and nearly receives a kick in the head at the same time, but the muffled sound of her shriek reaches his ears underwater. Omega nearly drowns himself by laughing, at which point he ends up in a position where he has to resurface or suffocate. Well, he'll just have to be quick about it, fuck--

But then he hears her calling him, and apparently their little war game has reached a truce. Perhaps it's only temporary, but he'll always come when she calls. Omega doesn't have to hold back the sharp laugh that escapes him when he pops back up again and can finally breathe. When he turns around, he finds her in the shallows, waiting for him.

Without any tricks, he swims across the pool to join his mate, slowing as he approaches until the water is low enough for him to stretch out lazily on his chest beside her, elbows in the sand. And he lowers his head down until just his eyes and nose are visible, but there is very clearly a smirk on the half of his face that's still underwater.

Blue watched him swim over with a mild look of feminine consternation on her face, but it faded not long afterwards. She did splash a nice wave of water over Omega's bare back just because, sniggering under her breath.

"That was fun," she admitted lightly, reclining back on her elbows, letting the water slosh over her shoulders and try to carry her off with the current. But she had her feet firmly planted on a nice-sized rock mostly submerged beneath the sediment; there was no danger of being swept off.

Had everything been normal between them, they'd be making love in these shallows right now, eagerly wrapped around each other, taking and giving everything that always smoldered so hotly between them. Blue chewed on her lip. And wiggled back up again, resting lightly against a current-covered rock.

She didn't miss the silvery droplets still clinging to wet scarred skin, nor the shimmer of thick black hair beneath the moon's light. And there was no way she could miss the iridescent blue of bright eyes behind water-sparkled lashes; the small glances he flicked at her were as tangible as a touch.

God, but it was enough to drive her absolutely insane. But Dr. Gwen had warned her that her hormones might act up eventually, and to be prepared for it, but Blue hadn't really taken it to heart. A mistake she was sorely regretting right about now.

Just don't think about it. Just--don't. So, she kept her eyes averted--with difficulty--and wrapped her arms around her knees, they just visible atop the water. "...I'm glad we came out here."

There is a constellation of water droplets drying on her skin, and Omega's mouth would be racing the air to dissolve them if he had his way. But what he wants to do to her isn't as important as making her smile again, he's sure of that, ducking back to avoid taking that splash to the face.

Her mild approval makes him chuckle, lifting his head from the water again. "Yeah? Maybe I should throw stuff at you more often." Look, obviously he won't, but it only took him a handful of mud to reverse a declining mood that he started in the first place. Considering his track record, that's not too bad at all.

He looks around; the woods are dark, but patches of moonlight stream through the trees here and there. Frogs and crickets sing at a safe distance from the predators in the pool, and an owl hoots, a haunting sound. The air is warm, and even the prickle of the breeze across his skin isn't too cold. But Omega's gaze inevitably returns to Blue, and it stays there for a while, not just a brief glance but long and lingering. He curls his fingers into the silt so he doesn't surge right up and kiss the breath out of her. That privilege hasn't been returned to him yet.

"We could just stay a while." They both know he's only half teasing. "Montana will still be there."

Blue dug her toes into the sand and shrugged one shoulder. "Mmmm," she mused, squinting out over the river, "nah. Too crowded." Then she smirked. "And besides, this stretch of land probably belongs to someone anyway, then we'd get in trouble for trespassing." Not something she wanted to deal with, ever.

"But we can stay and play a while, if you want. We can always sleep in the truck tomorrow on the way north." That, at least, had been somewhat comfortable. For Blue, anyway. Omega had shifted about quite a bit, being longer than the seat. But Owen had stopped every two hours or so, thankfully, allowing everyone a little time to walk about and stretch before heading off again.

"And it's nice here. Peaceful and quiet."

"They'd have to catch us first," Omega replies with a smirk of his own, rolling over on the riverbank. Pulling himself a little higher up lets him fold his arms behind his head without the water rising up over his ears. There aren't as many stars visible here as there were out in Big Sur, through all those trees or sitting on the rocky cliffs above the sea. He wonders what the Montana sky will look like.

Sleeping in the truck is all well and good, and Omega does possess the skill to sleep under just about any conditions (should he in fact decide to do so). It has been a while since he's actually had to exercise that skill, however, and in any case he likes to know what's going on around him. Trusting Owen Grady not to drive him straight to a laboratory doesn't mean he trusts the rest of the world to leave them alone, even on the road.

But it is nice here, and peaceful. And Omega holds up his hand between them, fingers outstretched toward Blue, for her to take.

She stared at his hand for a brief moment, then unhesitatingly reached over to thread her fingers with his, comforted by even this simple gesture. Now, more than ever, those gestures meant so much, helping to keep her from getting lost in her own subconscious, to keep the howling demons at bay. She'd taught Omega how to conquer his; why couldn't she do the same with hers?

"Well, Owen's dad's place is supposed to be remote, like our own house. Owen said his dad likes his privacy, so there won't be any random people coming and going. He also said that the nearest human town is almost an hour away, and it's really small, kinda like Big Sur. No big buildings, traffic, or herds of people, either."

Blue gently pressed her fingernails into the back of Omega's hand, not in warning, but just a reaffirmation of touch, a slight pressure. "And he has animals, too. Lots of sheep, a few dogs, and chickens." She giggled, imagining the flocks of chickens. "Noisy, and smelly, but lots of eggs every day."

"I assume we're not allowed to eat any of them," he says. See? Look how much he's grown. "You might want to warn Chi in advance. That idiot."

The pressure of her fingers travels through him like she's pressing a button, but he lies still in the water, enjoying the touch for what it is. His fingers open in hers, but only to fit their palms together a little better. Animals he can't hunt are more of a nuisance than anything, but it doesn't bother him. As long as they recognize him for the predator he is and leave him alone. And he can already tell her sisters are just going to love it.

He turns his head a little to look at her. "What are you looking forward to there?"

Blue giggled. "No, I don't think that'd go over too well." She'd definitely warn the rest of them, particularly Charlie and Chi, both for entirely different reasons. "We can find our own to hunt, out on the countryside." Not chickens, surely, but there were definitely other animals she was hoping to encounter.

She thought a bit about his question, wondering exactly what she was looking forward to, so far from home. Her hand tightened a little around his.

"...'m not really sure." Her free hand made little waves in the river current. "Peace of mind, maybe." Please. "Learning things about new places." Blue sighed a small laugh, reminiscing. "Back on Isla Nublar, I never thought much about seeing new places, because I loved the jungle so much." She still did, really. "But now...I never imagined living where we live. I guess I thought we couldn't survive anywhere else but the jungle, really." She shrugged. "Our mountain is a far cry from the jungle, but I wouldn't trade it for the Amazon rain forest."

She fell silent for a minute or so, then said, "Seeing the stars in the night sky." A little smile, and a glance up at the heavens, seeing the modest blanket of stars. "Owen calls it 'Big Sky Country'. I guess we'll see if he's right."

He listens in silence, not wanting to admit just how badly he's hoping that peace of mind really is waiting for her out there. It can't be unclear to her that it matters to him. Saying it would only put more weight on her shoulders.

In fact, he's quiet for a little longer after she finishes sharing her thoughts, momentarily caught up in his own. He agrees with her on the last one. A giant sky overhead, wide and open -- what will that be like? Maybe not so different from standing at the edge of a cliff over the sea, but Omega expects otherwise. However, he's mostly thinking about what she said first.

"I always knew I wasn't gonna stay on Isla Sorna," he murmurs after a while, but explains nothing more than that.

He didn't offer anything more, so Blue didn't press him for further details. She'd always respected both his willingness and unwillingness to share what was on his mind, though she always listened attentively when he did. But she did slide over and place a gentle kiss to his wet cheek, saying softly, "I'm glad you didn't. I'm glad you're here with me." Now and always.

A shiver skittered over her just then, the water warm but the night air cool. And the moon was in the west, slowly sinking down behind the tall dark trees. "We ought to head back, I guess." Another shower was definitely in order, since Blue really didn't fancy smelling like river water and mud all day tomorrow.

She picked her way out of the water and up the bank, shaking off water and wringing out her hair. Pulling on clothes over wet skin was frustrating, but years of doing so back on the island had taught her a few tricks. The wild energy from earlier had burned off, leaving her feeling a bit melancholy, almost bittersweet, but it was a languid state; Blue didn't want to fly back through the trees again, so she simply reached for her mate's hand once they were ready to start out.

--but gently tugged him with her out of the bright moonlight and, with her back securely against one of the thick pines, urged Omega down for a slow, soft kiss, drinking in the taste of him flavored with the river and the night.

He follows her lazily out of the water; now that they're actually in it, it seems like a shame to leave so soon. Fortunately it's warm even at night and their skin dries quickly with only the barest chill, and Omega slides back into his own clothes with little more than a wrinkled nose for the less pleasant feeling of wet skin inside dry clothes. Taking a shower himself wouldn't be the worst idea.

And he doesn't see it coming, but the second she guides him, he goes -- it seems to happen in one graceful motion that she pulls him down to her, and his eyes close the second their lips touch.

Bracing an arm against the tree above her head, Omega answers the kiss without hesitation, not even the caution of wanting to avoid another incident should she get overwhelmed. He's not the one in control here. Blue decides what happens, how hard his mouth presses to hers and how deep the kiss becomes, and she can tug him closer or push him away but he won't stop until he doesn't have a choice. But he does steal one thing for himself: a slow caress down the side of her body, trailing from her arm to her waist.

She'd gone so long without this. Without him. And it almost broke her heart, how quickly and eagerly Omega answered her plea for affection. Blue stroked his cheek, sliding her fingers back into his wet hair, and parted her lips for his, sighing softly into his mouth. There was no threat of him in this. He had never touched her thus, so perhaps she might find some solace in sweet kisses stolen beneath the moonlight and the pines.

His hand at her side made her shiver, a brief ripple of flesh, the rest of her envious of just that simple touch. Blue longed to drown herself in him again, but the waters before had been warm, crystal clear and so inviting; now they were dark, freezing cold and thick as tar. A small snarl of memory threatened in the back of her mind, but she gave a snarl of her own and shoved it back in its cage, the hand in her mate's hair tightening until her arm looped around his shoulders, wanting him closer.

The tree's bark was slightly rough against her back, but it did much to keep her focused on Omega; his lips so soft and gentle against hers, the muted, entirely human sounds that she so loved emanating from his chest, and the sweet slip of his tongue with hers, a sinuous plea for everything she might be willing to give.

She could--should--ask for no more than this.

He expects no more than this. She'd been willing before, even eager, but her own mind had betrayed her without warning. He doesn't know how much of that was his fault, but he knows he triggered it, one way or the other... so he lets her lead this time. Being able to kiss her like this -- an unbelievable pleasure granted more than once since this trip began, after entirely too long without it -- is like water to a man dying in the desert.

Her snarl would have pushed him away, but before he can react she moves her arms to hold him closer to her. Omega's heart steadily begins to race, kicking a beat faster with every plush caress of her lips against his. He loves the hell out of her. She can't deny him anything enough to compel him to leave her; he's lived that life already, an empty hell without her in it, and he'd take mere glimpses of her from a distance over losing her completely.

But he hasn't lost her yet. InGen wasn't stronger than them. Heat slowly spreads through him, but there is a strange thrill in self control: every time he denies himself for her sake, he proves that he's better than what he used to be. And that's what Blue wanted. Omega's claws flex above her head, tense and silent, but he brushes her cheek with fingers that are nothing but gentle.

Her snarls smoothed into soft purring, tipping her cheek into his hand as he kissed her soundly, breathing him in in deep, greedy droughts. Blue finally managed to put both of her arms around his neck, pulling him in closer and instinctively molding her body against his. The feel of him against her was wonderful, making her moan into his mouth and arch just enough to feel all of him.

But this wasn't fair, not in the least. She had no right to stoke those fires within him, unless she was willing to stand within their flames and be consumed by the inferno. ...and she knew she couldn't, not right now. InGen had marred that perfection, left icy fear in her veins as their ultimate revenge.

It hurt, it hurt so much, but Blue forced herself to ease back after a few breathless moments, sliding her arms from around Omega's neck down his arms, holding on to him for silent support. She couldn't help licking her lips, eyes half-closed, savoring his unique taste. All hers. Forever and always. The thought brought a slightly swayed moan.

"...mmmm..." Blue burrowed into Omega's chest, human vocals becoming the sensual purr of a contented raptor. "...I love you..."

This is dangerous. Omega can feel himself slipping. When her arms slide completely around his neck, he drops his own to her waist, encircling her, and he doesn't even pull her closer but then her body is pressed against his anyway. The soft curves that he knows so well -- her hips, the small of her back, the push of her breasts against his chest -- are beloved and torturous. She moans against him, and Omega nearly shoves her back against the tree.

He can't stop kissing her on his own, he doesn't have that kind of strength. it takes everything he's got not to lift her up and wrap her legs around him, whether they manage to get their clothes off or not; he struggles to keep his body from responding to her, a near-impossible feat when she finds so many little ways to be absolutely merciless.

Stop, he wants to beg her when she finally lets him breathe (a cruelty of its own), that little glimpse of her tongue against red lips and her soft little moan nearly sending his heart through his ribs. God... he wants her so bad, he feels like an animal.

But an animal would just take her, not pull himself together to slide his arms around her, nuzzling his answer into thick black hair still wet from the river.

At least she could handle his affection now. And, even though she shared his frustrations--in some part--there was still a long road ahead, for them both. Blue sighed, her melancholy creeping back. But that was okay, too. She indulged herself in her mate's warm, strong embrace for several long minutes, then stirred and withdrew just enough--just enough to leave her longing for what she simply couldn't give. Not right now.

But she kept one of his hands tight in hers as she led the way back to the highway and their hotel, only a couple of miles away.

The night clerk gave them both a startled look when they arrived, but was intelligent enough not to comment; Blue swept right on past the front desk and punched the UP button on the elevator. The car dinged open a few moments later and up two floors they went, she flicking on the lights as she carded open the door.

"You want a shower?" She'd already had one earlier, and it was only fair to offer it first, in her view. But Blue felt like biting out her tongue when she heard her own voice add, "I can wait."

He wouldn't have cared if they walked to the other side of the earth, as long as she kept her hand in his. Instead it's back to the hotel, for him a liminal space made bearable only by her presence, more precious to him now for how violently it was taken away.

The door closing behind them seals them off from the world, but they don't belong here; how is Omega supposed to rest after following her into the woods, seeing her glow in the moonlight, feeling her warmth beneath his hands? God, she's so beautiful, and her kisses lit a fire in him that won't be easy to put out.

Which is why it's a goddamn awful idea for him to say, "Or you can join me."

He'll be good. He was good out there in the water, and he's not going to fuck it up now.

In the process of pulling off her boots, Blue paused. Mostly because her fingers were trembling and she'd clumsily tied a knot in the laces of one. But also because the rumbled offer from across the room all of a sudden had her belly writhed into knots.

God, that was such a horrible idea...but she wanted to, how she wanted to! Memories flooded her eyes, remembered trysts back home, enveloped in the steaming water and Omega's long arms, the tile cool against her heated back and her skin tingling all over because nearly every inch of it had been treated to the wicked machinations of her mate's delicious mouth.

A minute shiver stole over her; the room was suddenly far too cool.

Blue finished with her boots by simply toeing them off abruptly, letting them fall unheeded on the thinly carpeted floor. Peeling off her socks and flinging them likewise, she snatched a forgotten pillow and locked her arms around it, squeezing her eyes closed.

She bit at her lip, striving hard to keep her voice level. "--I can't. " She loathed the words even as she said them. "--'s not fair."

Edited 2017-06-21 04:59 (UTC)

That's the reaction he knew he'd get, even if he didn't want to admit it to himself. He wants to wrench that pillow out of her hands and throw it out the window. Hell, he wants to pull her down to the bed and strip them both and prove to her that there isn't a single inch of her that isn't his, no matter whether some disgusting, dead son of a bitch thought he could change that. But even when he comes close to her, he doesn't try to take hold of her. Not yet.

"Blue--" His voice comes out tighter than he thought it would. It isn't fair, to either of them. It's likely a terrible idea. But he just can't stop himself. "I won't touch you any more than you want me to."

Hell, he'll stand on the other side of the tiny shower with his face to the wall if she tells him. That might even be better for them both. But he's willing to bet it's not what either one of them wants.

She opened her eyes to see Omega right in front of her, and she tightened her arms around the pillow, strangling it nearly to death. She refused to cry, to sob, but the look of abject misery on her face suggested doing so was a near thing. Her talons pierced the thin case to keep from reaching out for him. Again.

Blue shook her head, still-damp hair falling across her shoulders, down her arms. "I want you to, that's the problem!" She hitched her knees up between them, one more barrier to overcome. "And it's so unfair--for you--because...I-I--I just can't. I can't." Another hard shake of her head. "I just can't."

Now, she sniffled. And hated herself for it. "Y-You don't d-deserve this, O-Omega. You've--c-come so far from...there and worked so hard t-to be b-better..." Blue finally shut up, biting her lips bloody to keep from again dissolving into a pool of worthlessness.

No, damn it, no, that's what he can't take, her crying because of him, her misery returning because he doesn't know how to be the right thing for her.

He won't try to break through her barriers, but he can't stay away from her. Not anymore. Omega collapses in front of her, dropping his hands to hers and his head to her knees, unable to catch a breath through the tight clench of bared fangs. It's too much. He could keep himself away from her, if he had to... but he can't stand being helpless.

"I did it for you," he bites out through the knot in his throat, hot and frustrated and anguished. "I wouldn't have done it for anyone but you. I want to be better for you, Blue, always, I--" He struggles, and shakes his head, forehead pressed to her knees. "I don't deserve you. But I can't give you up. I won't. Because I'm selfish -- I want everything you give me, I don't ever want to live without you."

Omega lifts his head, eyes bright with fire behind them, nothing but the savage truth whether she'll hear it or not. "If I lose you, my life is fucking worthless."

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